Tuesday, January 10, 2017

Hey there, I'm back after a little break and for what many call the "beginning" :) January that is :) 

So many people spend time making "new years resolutions" only to give up in 6 weeks or less. Why do we set ourselves up to fail? Why not set goals that better our lives, ones we know we NEED to stick with to succeed or get what we need/want etc? Take diet for instance, so many people go on a diet (the word itself actually means "what you eat", so if you eat junk food you consume a junk food diet, if you consume healthy food you consume a healthy diet) January 1 and by February 14 they are so over it, having failed numerous times in those short 6 weeks already. Why not change your thinking? Do not look to a "diet" to lose weight but look to changing your life through what you eat, WHY you eat etc. The BIGGEST mistake people make is thinking willpower will conquer bad eating habits. Willpower lasts for some time, for others longer (for some even years...shocking I know) and the weight does come off. Stays off for a period of time and then BAM they are gaining again... WHY? Because they never dealt with the why behind the eating, they slip back into old habits of unhealthy food or too many snacks etc. There are numerous things but the why behind them all is that they never dealt with the WHY! This can also be true for those who are trying to gain weight after having the opposite eating disorder to over eating they were under eating for example.
     We need to understand our WHYS and also truly believe that our body is a temple. We need to truly believe that what we put into our body is either causing LIFE or causing DEATH. Encouraging disease or discouraging it. We need to truly want health over quick satisfaction that results in obesity, disease, death and most importantly biblical DISOBEDIENCE. What controls us? Who is in control of us? 
     Obedience is better than sacrifice. I am struggling right now with drinking more coffee (I drink it black) than I should and I am not eating for true health. Am I eating junk food or over eating? NO, but I am not fuelling my body with enough nutrients, I am not exercising, I am not sleeping enough and I am feeling it let me tell ya. So my goal for this year is to get more sleep, start exercising again, better my intake of nutrient dense foods, start really cooking again and drink less coffee. Less coffee? YIKES, did I just say that? LOL 
     We can fall away from caring for ourselves and concentrating TOO much on others. This is a huge downfall for me and yet I struggle to do differently. 
     Being honest and open helps us and helps others. Encourage one another, do not give up. Believe you are worth it. KNOW your family, your children are counting on you to live a long and healthy life, not one that you are old before your time or disease ridden so life isn't being lived to it's fullest. Put God first in ALL things and over eating, under eating, eating unhealthy foods, drinking too much coffee etc will NOT be first and foremost in our lives. We can't hide, there's no where to go. People see through us, we can lie to ourselves BUT most importantly we can NOT lie to God and even when we try He KNOWS the truth better than we do. 
     Stop lying to yourself, get sleep, drink water, eat healthy food and know that you are treating the temple that homes The Living God the best you can. Everyday is a new day. JOY comes in the morning, thank God...literally :) 

Be blessed :) 

Friday, August 12, 2016

A Year Gone ! Always Room to Grow !

Sometimes ya win , sometimes ya lose. This trying to fit everything and everyone in everyday of life can be more than exhausting. Trying to manipulate kids schedules to fit other things into my life does not work for us. What I have learned ... I can NOT do / be everything to everyone and my kids can not adjust to "different" and I need to be ok with that, in fact I was always quite content with it so I guess in some cases the old is really better than the new LOL
Why do I tell you this? NO ONE IS PERFECT! Life lessons, learning about yourself NEVER ends. Seeing who you are , who you want to be and seeing others as who they are in all situations can bring light to many situations. I need to learn to take care of me again, to get rest and treat my body as the temple it is. To do any different goes against everything I believe to be true of how God wants me to treat this shell He has given me to pass through this time in preparation to my forever home.
Never give up being the best you you can be, the best you God created you to be...I did and I am paying dearly for it. Exhaustion takes a toll on a person in so many areas, I feel like a walking zombie daily ,I am not taking the time to properly nourish my body, (just because you eat only healthy food does NOT mean you are caring for your temple properly) something I VERY strongly believe to be a top priority. I am not moving my body to keep it healthy and to move toward my life goals. And so here is where being humble comes in... I have helped and continue to help others meet their goals in this area and now I need a little help from my friends ... please keep me in prayer in this area. I fell off the wagon of putting myself/myhealth as a priority when a very traumatic stressful event happened last September in my family. A lot of good can come in the things we go through and there has been MUCH good but I let go of me in the process.
It is time to reclaim and reestablish ALL of who I am as a Child of God. There is not one area He wants me to not succeed in...including rest, fuel and movement ...HEALTH. Without our health we have nothing, We can not be who God created us to be...to fulfill the call on our life that He set forth from the beginning.
I share this pic collage with you today as a reminder to myself of how far I've come BUT also to show you that if you do not continue you do NOT get to your goals... the last pic of me taken at 160 pounds was a year ago. TODAY I weigh the same amount. SO as much as 90 pounds lost is AMAZING, I let a year go by of not taking charge of my life. I am encouraged to know I can continue on this journey BUT smart enough to know that the FIRST thing I need to do to be able to reach any goal or to at least be able to function properly day to day is to REST ... to get proper SLEEP. Not something I am great at and yet for the first time in my life I admit it to be the most important thing for me to change for me to be able to move forward in anything else.
If you are struggling in this area at all I suggest you get rest FIRST...check your sleep habits, if you are not getting enough sleep not much else can function properly and living in a state of exhaustion brings a place for the enemy to get in. He will use your weakness as a foothold in your life and we must FIGHT to live FREE.
Live a life of FREEDOM in EVERY area of your life :) Do NOT let the enemy have a way in...STAND STRONG, first by kneeling, confess your weakness, ask for His strength and then DO IT !
Be blessed to live your best life :)

Friday, May 13, 2016

Life changes...divorced.

Life changes...divorced.

I love to keep my blog up beat and positive but I also live my life as real as I possibly can and so I'm delivering something a lil different in this one BUT really , in my opinion still positive...through the negative :) I hope you can take away something positive and not allow anything I've said offend you as that is not my intention ...it is just MY life after all. 

Today I am going to touch on something that many people seem to shy away from...life after divorce as a christian. I won't be going into great detail but simply opening a door to the possibility of a more in-depth blog post at another time. 

Obviously this will be my opinion on this topic and only about my experience living it. I can not account for others in how they lived it,  nor can I give an account for the opinions of others who have not lived it. 

I have asked my ex husbands permission to blog honestly about this and have been given the go ahead to do so. I don't feel it would have been respectful to do so without his permission.

Every marriage has challenges, everyone knows this and many can work through them and continue into many long years in a healthy marriage. Others can not get past these and many challenges simply can not be worked through without an absolute miracle. Of course we all want the miracle however not everyone gets it.

After 4 long years (not that there weren't challenges before that) of living in what was close to hell on earth we filed for a joint (non contested) divorce that was final on April 1, 2016. We had spent a long time living separated in the same home trying to plug through for the kids and honestly for "looks". We are christians after all ... we have to make it, there is no choice. While I am NOT saying divorce is good because it's NOT... I am saying that in certain circumstances God says "let it go". 

My ex and I have committed to parenting our children for the next 14 years together and have chosen to remain friends. We want each other to be happy and to live a life of purpose and passion. My greatest prayer for him is that he end well serving God with his full heart and being the best father he could be, that his children would love and honour him always. I also hope he finds happiness in marriage again with a woman who respects and loves him. 

After all this I knew I had no intentions of dating nor did I really want to be looking...SURPRISE, I have recently moved on with a man I consider to be a gift in my life and my kids. Another amazing factor in this is that we have received my ex husbands blessing. I still have no desire to "date" or be a "girlfriend" but rather a desire to court with intent to marry. I know I know ... marry AGAIN? YES! Most people are VERY excited and happy for us, there are a (extremely very minimal) few who have a different opinion and there are those who will not touch the subject at all even if their life depended on it. Im ok with it as I am the last person who would ever in their lives tell them how to do them. I am an extremist for living your best life so I have no opinion on how they should feel or treat this situation. I don't understand them but I DO respect them. I'd never try to convince them how to feel or try to change their opinion. FREEDOM :) 

I believe we are created to love.
I believe man was not created to be alone.
I believe my children deserve the best life I can give them.
I believe in marriage ...although some would disagree because of my past. 
I believe people will see through me, my partner, my children, our lives separate and together the fruit that has come and will continue to come from giving "love" another chance. Those who do not see are either choosing not to or are not in our close knit circle of those most important to us. 
I believe my oldest 2 girls are my biggest cheerleaders and are the most happy for me and for the life we will build as a family.
I believe I will answer to my Maker in the end for everything I have said and done just like everyone else and I can only hope, trust that I have made the right choices.
I BELIEVE in a God who created me to be me...He loves me and He is proud of me :) 

REMEMBER...you ARE loved by The King of Kings and no ones opinion matters but His. 

I had the best advice given to me this year by a man who I respect and who means the world to me. "If "they" (people) are not on your side, not in your corner they don't need to know anything about your life. you don't need to tell them anything. They don't even need to be in your life." 

I have taken this advice and held it VERY close to my heart...it has helped get me through this time more than I think even he will ever know. 

Friday, April 8, 2016

Learn to pick your battles

Picking your battles... 

How many times do you hear an energy spent mother of a teen say "I just can't control her/him anymore" ?

It's heart breaking to see parents so overwhelmed. I'm not saying parenting is easy because it is NOT. I don't feel there is a need for control but there is a great need for heart felt guidance and absolute unconditional love. I have been parenting on my own (not necessarily always single but with my partner not being present) for most of my parenting years (almost 21 years) and I have learned a lot...I have failed and I have chosen to pick my battles. 

I didn't find it as pressing when my two oldest were little, I mean ... you still have to have balance and pick battles etc but its when they really want to express who they are as an individual that I feel it matters most. So when my 12 year old asked me if she could dye her hair black or when the other started wearing black eyeliner ( quite a little more than I liked) I had to wonder if it was worth saying no to. When my 15 year old really wanted a tattoo  and some non traditional piercings I had to truly evaluate why I'd say no, how that would effect them and how it would effect the relationship I had worked so hard to have with them. I am VERY close with my girls, my oldest two are my true best friends BUT I am first their mother and they know it. Was I willing to snuff out (control) their need to express themselves or did I want to guide them in a way they would make the right choices for themselves? I chose to guide. I let them dye their hair, I let them get piercings (told them places on their body they were not allowed to until they were an adult) and also tattoos ...but I brought them to a hygienic place I trusted and I "ok'd" the ink my 15 year old wanted. I also chose to be very raw, open... honest with them about my own personal life...hiding nothing from them and that in turn  allowed them to see what bad choices can do , where it can get you and why it's in their best interest not to do some of the things that are popular to do... Am I saying this is the way all parents should do it ? NO, (but kinda)  what I'm saying is THIS worked for us. I have 2 amazing , smart, respectful , responsible , caring and loving adult daughters who I couldn't be more proud of and who have it far more "together" than I did even many years INTO my adult life. 

Using guidance instead of control is how I see God "parent" us as well. He allows us to exercise free will and with the choices we make the outcome is either beneficial or not. We recognize  His love for us and we choose to do better next time. We simply can not grow and learn to be who we are meant to be if we are controlled in the process. Guidance allows for love to be the driving factor and it's a win win situation for all involved even when we mess up. We see what we have done , correct it and do better with future choices we are faced with. 

Don't allow people to control you. It's simply unacceptable. We aren't designed to be controlled. We are designed to be guided with a sincere heart FULL of unconditional LOVE. 

Be blessed in knowing GOD IS LOVE and you can take what you know to be true in His teachings and ways and bless your children in the same manner that they too can benefit from. 

Perfection is unattainable ... STOP striving and start living ...FREE !

Wednesday, April 6, 2016

Keep Dreaming

Dreams do come true...

I became a Garth Brooks fan the very first time I heard his voice. His first record was released in 1989 and I was hooked. The more I encountered of him on interviews etc the more I felt like he was just the real deal. Amazing man, entertainer and just so humble. 

In 1991 the song "The River" came out and I made it my "life song". There were many days that I played it on repeat just to "get through" and many days again I played it to celebrate how far I'd gotten :) I have a part of it tattooed on my arm and I make no excuses for it being the song I have chosen. It describes me better than any other song out there. Thank you Mr Brooks :) 

I have never in my life desired to see any entertainer in concert EXCEPT Garth . That dream was crushed when he went into retirement in 2001. I especially thought it would never happen even if he started touring again because I quit listening to him ( and all other "secular" music ) after I quit drinking in 2003. If I listened to what I loved to listen to when I used to drink I felt an extreme strong desire to drink and that was just NOT an option.

 I knew he was making a come back. Then we (my 2 oldest daughters and myself) found out he was coming to Canada. Then we found out he was coming within 5 hours to where we lived. Then we found out he was going to be in the same city my oldest goes to university in. THEN I realized I still could not go because my desire to drink was still strong if I listened to certain music etc. My life was changing... I was going through a divorce, healing etc AND then in December 2015 I was completely delivered from the desire to drink. I could listen to any music I wanted to and there was NO desire to have a drink. Thank you God! 

So...tickets went up for grabs, my 2 oldest convinced me I needed to do it. Fulfill a life dream I had and to do it with them. 2 hours of trying and we finally got tickets. Plus my 2 oldest paid for my ticket. My ex husband knew this was a dream of mine and wanted to help so he said he'd take the kids for that weekend for me to go and even had to take time off work to do so.  What a blessing. 

I then was on a mission to make it an adventure, a challenge! I decided I'd take the bus with my 18 year old (second oldest) to Ottawa instead of driving, take city transit, train and ubers while there AND to sleep on my oldest daughters dorm room floor, share her space and her bathroom (with 3 room mates as well)  instead of booking a hotel. This was completely out of character for me and I have to say I was wondering if I could do it but also believed that I have always conquered what I have set out to do. SO I chose to believe I could and would do it and I DID! It was amazing... a whirlwind. Left my city at 4am April 3 and arrived back in my city at 4pm April 4. CRAZY,  AMAZING,  FUN, ADVENTURE ! 

A few other amazing things happened too. Our concert tickets were for row 300. Far away but the screens were huge and we were just happy to be there... very happy. HOWEVER, while sitting in our seats a guy came and sat behind us. Long story short he was part of the crew and gave us 3 NEW tickets for SECOND ROW FLOOR SEATS ! NO kidding, crazy ...we were pretty much speechless. Now that was the craziest thing that could have happened to fulfill a life dream. 

The place was packed with 20 000 people and FULL of alcohol. I have to say I was not affected by it, had no desire for it and was completely enjoying a dream come true with my 2 oldest girls. Simply amazing. I had victory in an area in my life I never thought was possible. I was FREE. 

Why am I blogging about this? Simply to tell you to NEVER stop dreaming, NEVER give up and ALWAYS know that God understands your greatest desires and wants to fulfill dreams for you. Many would argue because this "wasn't important" right? BUT it was important to me, He sees my heart and my desires and chose to bless me. To be free to go I had to be FREE from the bondage of alcohol , I had to have someone be able to stay with the 3 little ones, I had to be free to let go of a lifestyle I was used to (travel, hotels etc) AND THEN ... He chose to bless us with the ultimate! He (yes I believe it was God's favour) chose to give us seats only 10 feet away from GARTH BROOKS himself. He loves me and wanted to bless me, show me favour ...and THAT He most certainly did. 

Never ever forget who you belong to, who your Daddy is. He is marvellous and will show you in ways you would never imagine possible just how important you are to Him. He loves you more than you can ever even imagine and you matter to Him. You are never alone. He is faithful. 

                                                      "The River"

You know a dream is like a river
Ever changin' as it flows
And a dreamer's just a vessel
That must follow where it goes
Trying to learn from what's behind you
And never knowing what's in store
Makes each day a constant battle
Just to stay between the shores...and

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Too many times we stand aside
And let the waters slip away
'Til what we put off 'til tomorrow
Has now become today
So don't you sit upon the shoreline
And say you're satisfied
Choose to chance the rapids
And dare to dance the tide...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

There's bound to be rough waters
And I know I'll take some falls
But with the good Lord as my captain
I can make it through them all...yes

I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
Like a bird upon the wind
These waters are my sky
I'll never reach my destination
If I never try
So I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry

Yes, I will sail my vessel
'Til the river runs dry
'Til the river runs dry

Friday, April 1, 2016

Choose to BLOOM !

Choose to bloom...

Most of us want to be "planted and watered ... to have the sun shine on us and to grow". Whatever that looks like to you is your "bloom". 

I choose to be planted in faith, love, strength, courage, boldness and completely abandoned uniqueness. I have no desire to be like any other person. That's not the way it's always been for me though. I had a picture in my mind of what a christian woman "should" look and act like. I cut my hair, dyed my hair, grew my hair, wore no make up , wore too much make up, got fake nails, took piercings out, tried to cover my tattoos with clothes,wore fancy clothes etc but was NEVER happy. I am not saying any of these things are bad per say BUT if they are not being who God created you to be then it's impossible to continue a life that is not authentic to who you are truly meant to be. 

I mentioned in an earlier blog that when I was about to turn 40 everything changed for me ... for the BETTER. I had an awakening in my heart to know that I am permitted to be ME and that I am permitted to change from day to day as my desires to be "myself" change as well. This was HUGE for me as a woman who thought she needed to fit into a "box" to belong. 

October 24, 2015 I had a friend (we met in 2002) who is part of leadership at the church I attend tell me I do not fit into a box, will not fit into one, choose not to and shouldn't ... that I am what the church (not the building but the people, the church of God)  has needed (may not have wanted) for a long time. THOSE words changed my thinking as a woman who wanted so badly to be committed to being in church weekly with my kids. I was a changed woman. 

My faith is stronger than its EVER been. I dress how I want, have my hair the way I want, have kept my piercings and am still continuing with my on going life journal of tattoos. Does everyone agree with the way I choose to live my life? NO...but I do not need to be who they think I need to be. I only need to be concerned with what God thinks of me and hope that when I have to answer to Him that I have lived a life that has pleased Him. 

I have a passion to see women BREAK FREE so I talk and write about being who you were created to be often. This is not a deep heart felt blog today but rather a few words of encouragement to maybe take some time to really learn who you are (it's never too late) and what role you play in this world. Are you willing to conform to what people think you should be, look and act like or are you willing to step out of the box and be exactly who you were created to be? Learning to love and be comfortable with who you are is a gift that brings realness to your life and relationships. It allows people to see you are who you say you are and not a carbon copy of someone else that will in time fade away and have no real value. 

I do not live my life to please man. I am an eccentric being who chooses joy because I KNOW I am loved by the Creator of everything , who understands (finally) that I am a Princess, a daughter of the King of Kings. I am a woman who now knows that choosing joy and being happy are very different BUT that you can have both, but to be happy you have to be comfortable, confident with who you are and choose to be that person EVERYDAY.

New beginnings come every morning...don't miss your chance to begin again. Today is a new day, a new month and a new beginning for me and I am more than excited about it. Life is too short to waste dwelling on the past. It's not where God would have you live so choose today to look ahead, one day at a time...take a chance to do something different. Trust me...it's AMAZING! 

Today is the day to begin to Bloom...Love and LIVE your authentic life :) 

Be blessed. 

Monday, March 21, 2016

Learning to Feel Again

Learning to Feel Again...what does that mean? What does that look like? 

I always had the desire from a very young age to show people my "strength". To show them there was nothing I couldn't do. To show them I was in control of my own life. To show them I couldn't be "broken". I felt a sense of pride being called strong, stubborn, hard headed, determined, rebellious...a sense of accomplishment when told I had to always learn the "hard way", that until I hit rock bottom I'd never learn and  that no matter what , at all cost I'd prove my point. 

Many of these traits can be positive when used properly but when misused can utterly destroy you as a person. I became so "determined" to show people my strength and determination that I shut down. I had no idea how to feel anything but "drive". With drive I became a machine...only understanding the feeling of anger and wanting power. I became hard, which is a true misunderstanding of strength. 

I learned how to live angry. It was comfortable for me. I knew how to deal with that emotion. I didn't have to concern myself with "feelings" if I chose to be angry. With anger you have a huge need for control, as though it goes hand in hand without question. Without control the anger is amplified. Having to have control over every situation and everything that involves you is literally impossible and just makes you more angry. It is a vicious cycle that can never be broken unless you break... and allow emotion to come back into your life. 

I equated softness as weakness and would resist it at all cost. Nip it in the bud I did.... for YEARS! Hurt in my life just made me more angry and I wouldn't allow softness to enter UNTIL I could no longer manage my anger. I didn't even know deep within that I wasn't handling it anymore I just knew without a doubt that I was dying a very real death to me. Not one many others could see (some did) but none the less VERY real. 

Something very tragic happened in our family in September 2015 and I learned something about myself I had NO idea existed. I learned I had compassion. I learned I could love someone who intended to hurt my family deeper than I ever thought possible. I learned that in the midst of a very real scary trial that I could  wrap my arms around a stranger and truly love. This was foreign to me and left me feeling a little out of control to be honest. 

Dealing with it head on mentally very well I quickly learned your body will react in some way or another. I lost all energy (physically) ...couldn't sleep, couldn't go to the gym, hated cooking, grocery shopping, didn't want to parent or do activities with my kids and even my house lost its "lustre".  I was in shock, confused and even asked some professionals if "this" was normal. They reassured me it most certainly was and that in time the old me would surface again. I did NOT want to here "in time"... I like things done yesterday. Well , let me tell you. It didn't happen "yesterday" nor has it fully happened yet, BUT what HAS happened as a result ( I believe ) has been truly a miracle for me. 

A month after this happened (October 24/15) I went to my home church for a morning conference session after having been in and out of it for years (my faith never changed I just didn't know how to be a "part" of a church family) and had a life changing experience. I can't tell you what it was that impacted me really except that when I first got there during worship I truly didn't even want to be there, actually thought about walking out. It was a guest worship leader (Brian Houston) who was great but I just wanted "out". I knew I couldn't just walk out so I stayed...I was feeling restless, pushed through and decided I'd return to the evening service regardless of how I was feeling. 

Evening service...ROCKED my world. I entered into worship and knew I needed to be there, knew I belonged there and decided at that time I was never looking back. I would plug back in, plug my kids in and embrace this family God had given me years ago. Did I know for sure what that looked like? Not at all but I am pretty much a woman of my word and I believe I gave God my word that night to dive into something that was VERY uncomfortable for me. 

Since that night I have learned what beginning to feel is about. It is the absolute most scariest thing I have ever gone through in my life and I have been through some pretty interesting "scary" things. I have cried more (happy and sad tears) in these last 5 months than I have in my entire life. I had to buy waterproof mascara for the first time in my years of wearing it LOL. I have placed my heart on my sleeve and accepted being in a church family. I have learned to give up control in areas I don't need to have it. I have been delivered of living  in anger that was a  bondage to me for most of my life. I have learned that being softened does NOT take away your strength but that it actually makes you stronger. Hardness melts away and you have His strength instead of your own to get you through all you need to get through. His strength IN you is more that you will ever need, easier to manage and far exceeds our own. 

I have always felt I have lived a transparent life and have been told from others the same thing, BUT when you allow yourself to feel like you've never felt before your transparency  is more than you ever imagined it could be. People truly demonstrate their love without judgement towards you which allows for deeper bonds with people you didn't expect to be close with and also allows distance you didn't even realize you needed between others. 

Allowing God to soften my heart has brought more strength than I ever knew to be possible. The things I have been through and had to accomplish in these last 5 months demanded a different kind of strength than I ever possessed in my past. I feel like I'm living a completely different life now. This process is far from over and has left me feeling open and raw BUT the people who have come along side me in this journey are exactly the people I have needed in my life for a very long time. Allowing people in has permitted them to tell me things I have so desperately needed to hear...the one who looked me in the eye and said "hold your head high and you don't have to explain anything to anyone who isn't 100% in your corner", others who say "I see a huge difference in you", another who says "we are family and I love you no matter what", or "nothing you have done has surprised God and He loves you just as you are". My 2 oldest who are so happy and excited for me to continue to walk this journey and in many ways have decided to join me :) Another who reminds me to never beat myself up, that I am loved and needed, that I am a good mother and woman and to take one day at a time and that I am "enough". 

I live a very blessed life :) You have to let people in if you want to be a part of Gods greatest plan for your life. 

If you have allowed hardness to take over,  I challenge you to allow God to soften you. It's not true strength you are living in. Open your heart to Him. You will not regret it, I promise. Will it be easy? No, I won't lie to you BUT I will tell you it will be the most life changing thing you will ever do to better yourself and all those who surround you. You will learn so much about yourself you may even begin to like who you are ;) 

He is faithful if you allow Him to work in you. He loves you more than you will ever be loved by any human being. 

Let go and let God and you will see that true strength can come through your heartfelt tears poured out in desperate need of CHANGE! Let Him bottle up your tears so you don't have to anymore. 

Be Blessed